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Shaving - the student's guide to...
A mate of mine has a truthful BUT humorous rant on his website about the male curse - shaving - although he states it as fun. This page is to try and explain the intricate age old ritual that is male (note some women could do with it to) facial shaving! Plus up til now I'd used the electric shaver and tried a wet shave and f**ked up so looked what others said... this is my guide ripped off other people's websites and declared my own intelligent views! Ha ha!! So sue me!!!!!!
Don't laugh this is a serious subject! Anyway... how do you shave?? No I'm not asking, just shut up and read!
Well my research has told me the most important thing is Preparation Preparation Preparation! Do not rush things!!!
Well thats a new one on me, but here goes. There are different preparations I've discovered:
(i) Moisturizing - i.e. add water to the facial surface!
(ii) Exfoliate - get rid of dead skin and that type of thing, and apparently gets trapped hairs out meaning your less likely to cut yourself.
(iii) Take a hot shower before hand, or wash face in hot soapy water to clean the skin. Don't scald! For all students a "Shower" is a water emitting piece of apparatus found in the bathroom, the room that may have a toilet in, and can be stood under to 'cleanse' oneself with - disclaimer: I am a student.
What do these things do? Apparently they "open the pores" so that the hairs stand on end and are also soften the hairs, making them easier to cut with the razor.
NEXT the shave!
OK - here are a few pointers.
(preparing) Use a shaving gell or cream or foam to soften the hairs and give the razor a smoother ride - we all like smooth rides now and again!
(i) Go WITH the grain first - I didn't realise thats the reason I keep getting loads of small cuts. This means feel which way the hair grows and shave that way.
Next go about 45 degrees from the grain. Just to increase the pain if you add aftershave later, but it apparently also gives a closer shave.
(ii) Don't do full swipes of the face. Do small movements gently.
(iii) Don't apply pressure - if the razor is sharp you shouldn't need to.
(iv) Use a mirror - don't try to shave by just touch, you could end up looking like a Casualty extra, or give yourself a badhair day for a week or so!
(v) Double check with your fingers for missed bits. Do NOT double check the sharpness of your razor with your fingers. Uhm, I did once, uhm ok today I did it, and the cut bled for a fair while! Doh!
(vi) If you get cut, no I mean when you get cut don't put toilet roll or newspaper on them. You will forget, then that fit bird that keeps looking at you and smiling on the train will be smiling through pity and humour! If she is kind she won't point it out to the other fit bird next to her, or the scally on the seat infront. Soon the whole train could be laughing at you and you feel like a... my flash back has just finished!
(vii) Use a styptic pencil instead of toilet roll to heal cuts. Must work someone said it on a website! :-)
(viii) If you use aftershaves to heal cuts, use alcohol free stuff - its kinder on the skin.
(ix) After the shave replace the razor blade - unless you have not got much growth then you can use one razor twice - bl***y expensive business this for students! £5 just for 5 replacement blandes for Sensor Excel, I mean thats 5 pints worth in the Student bar!!
FINISHED!
But reading that back doesn't points (ii) through to (v) sound like something other than shaving? I can't figure it out.
Why bother Shaving? Uhm... as one website points out if we stop shaving we end up with beards and no girlfriends... like clean shaven men are sure to get the girls! Yeah right!!
There is a forum out there that asks why bother shaving - FORUM - and you can understand the views, until you realise that the first person posting a message - saying "Has anyone else just stopped [shaving]? I just got tired of it all and havenb't for two months or so now." - is a women! To quote jenclowes "eeewwwwww".
USEFUL LINKS:
AskMen.com Shaving page * IVillage Shaving page * How to aviod razor burn * Shaver express *
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